Friday, February 8, 2008

Guildies Say the Darndest Things! (Potentially NSFW Text Behind the Cut)

It sounds funny, but I think one of the biggest things that draws new folks to Prophecy is our Ventrilo server and guild/offcolor chats. Or, I suppose to be more general, our twisted personalities. Rare is the day when there aren't at least a few dozen statements made that are immediately (if not explicitly) twisted to be sexual in nature, another dozen jokes of the toilet humor variety made, etcetera. We can all be very mature if we need to be, mind you, but we have a lot of fun just being immature (I think we have MAYBE 3 members under the age of 18, mind you, and those 3 are rarely around, so dont think we're exposing young kids to things they shouldn't be exposed to).

And with that in mind, I want to expose everybody to excerpts from this very culture, via our own guild forum's "Prophecy Quotes" thread. Names and . . . well, names, have been changed to protect the guilty. Be warned, some of what is behind the cut is not the sort of thing you want your boss to catch you reading, though (Hence why I'm using a cut from day 1 this time). Heck, some of these quotes aren't even appropriate for human consumption. I wont fault you if you don't read this, but I needed some cheering up, and the Prophecy Quotes thread never fails to get me laughing. You've been warned. . .

As you're reading these, I encourage you to do so with your dirtiest mindset. Remember, we pretty much live in the gutter, so much of this might only be funny if you're actively expecting innuendo. And toward the end, some of this gets REALLY bad, to the point where I'm actually refusing to post some of my favorites because they just go too far, or touch on touchy subjects like religion. Oh, and I copy full posts here, these aren't all posted by me, so any "I" appearing in them is not necessarily about me:

"Wait, what?... OH, SHIT!" -Our raiding motto. :3

*giggles* I have two mages to beat off o.O
-- Hunter, discussing T4 Helm looting competition

"you just follow the directions on the box. its pretty much bake and spank"
-Warrior, making brownies. i died laughing

"I dont even ask for it, I just shove it in your face"
~Shaman, about Mana oil on his mace

"This is ridicufuckulous."

"I blew all of them!"
~Hunter, referring to her cooldowns

"Whoo! I'm a Kentucky fried ROCKET!"
~Rogue Engineer, after becoming a chicken from a malfunction and hitting sprint.

"Once I have it in my mouth, I'm sure it'll be amazing."
~Shadow Priest

Warrior: You said you were gonna come on [Paladin]!
[Paladin]: I DID come on [Paladin]!

I taste Daddy!
- Shadow Priest or Moonkin (not sure which)

"That's like...masturbating as a quadraplegic."
~Paladin, questioning Warrior's sanity by farming as a prot warrior

"I'd be an Actual Teacher. I just like kids too much."
-Shaman, after coming back into vent after a hiatus.

"I just passed another nethergas cloud" ~ Warrior

"Prince Malchezzar doesn't have the balls to drop. Good to know." -Me, as Kirari
"He's wearing an awfully short skirt." -Rogue
"I think he's going to the disco after this." -Mage
"Disco Infernal?" -Kirari

"Keep talking" - Shadow Priest
"Cixah's fapping" - Mage
"No.. because if I was [Moonkin] would get an eye full" - Shadow Priest

"What am I going to do with all these cookies and milk now? It's going to go right to my thighs." -Mage
"Great. My pants are now broken." -Rogue
"Looks like you had some milk too." -ToL Druid

Shaman: Your kitty looks like my grandma's kitty
Mage: =)
Surania: . . .
Mage: Wait
Mage: STFU Surania

Rogue: "I'll just put my meat in the guild bank"

Feral Druid, while summoning in birdform:
"Oh cool, I get glowing balls."

So, for those brave enough to actually read all of these, what are some of YOUR favorite quotes from your guildmates?


Karthis said...

Our best holy paladin has a thing for bluntly stating "cocks" at random intervals during a raid. He'll also start meowing like a cat.

It doesn't take long for our boomkin to declare "boys are dirty" every raid..... we can be kinda immature. =P (and like you, we have very few people under 20 in the guild)

Our female raiders have lately begun to ask for pictures of nude men as incentive to down bosses. This started after a picture of the above boomkin's boobs was offered up for downing a boss we were stuck on. He fell that night. :P Piccie was delivered to all in the raid.

Our raid leader starts every boss pulls by stating: "Hunters.... get it up!" (referring to misdirection)

The list goes on....

Anonymous said...

"got to go, have to get the kids out of the oven."

- My favorite vent quote.

Vince said...

Woot some of my quotes are up there!

Gotta guess which ones though >.>

Anonymous said...

Our (annoying) ex-maintank always used to initiate a pull by telling us all to "look alive" - normally responded to by most of the casters with "but we are undead"

i don't think I'd offer pics of my manboobs as an incentive for downing bosses - I want progression :)

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