Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The Next Engineering Mount

So, for those who haven't heard, the latest beta push has introduced a long-awaited schematic for our engineering friends -- Motorcycles. And from the looks of this screenshot (which I'm borrowing from WoW Insider, as I don't have beta access myself), it's going to be a pretty sweet ride. I had been considering dropping engineering on Kibler for some other profession, but now I'm pretty sure I want to stick with engineering so I can ride a Hog (Which begs the question of why hunters can't use their pet hog as a mount, but I digress).

Something is missing, though. Motorcycles and Choppers are great and all, but while we now have no wheels and two wheels covered, it seems to me engineers need a four-wheeled mount. And with the new mechanic of taking riders, it seems to me the perfect addition to the engineer's reportoire would be a taxi cab!

I don't think the cab should work like other mounts. For one, I don't think it should go in your mount spellbook like other mounts will, especially since that gives engineers an unfair advantage when it comes to getting the mount-based achievements coming with the expansion. Instead, I think making the cab should culminate with a soulbound whistle that goes in your inventory.

Now, most mounts just kind of appear when you summon them. Not so with the engineer's taxi. When you whistle for your cab, your character should literally put two fingers up to their mouth and whistle for a couple seconds, after which the cab drives up from off-screen. Of course, the animation would need to only be visible to the person summoning it, or else other people would see cars randomly materializing on their heads, but I think that a custom summoning animation would be damn cool.

If you look at the picture above of the motorcycle, you can see that the license plate says "Pwn". A nice touch, to be sure, but I'm not so fond of just taking some random phrase out of gaming culture. Instead, I want to have a license plate that says something about the mount. I'm not 100% decided on what that should be just yet, but as this is a fresh new idea, how about "FRESH", at least for now.

I'd also like to steal an idea from the epic chopper. As I'm sure most of you know, one of the parts required for an engineer to make their epic flyer is a hula girl doll purchased from Griftah in Shattrath. And if you look at the actual mount, sure enough, there's a hula girl on the control panel. Now, a bobblehead doll would work for the cab, too, but I don't want to steal something quite that directly. So what else do you think of when you think of car ornaments? An air freshener would work, but frankly, this is a taxi cab, it's supposed to smell bad. What else? Why, Fuzzy Dice of course! A pair of dice hanging from the rear view mirror would be perfect! And as with the hula girl statue, you'd have to buy a couple to make the car. I'm thinking you could buy them from the guard at the cage in Gadgetzan, with the backstory that he's a compulsive gambler, and has been betting on dice and cage matches for years.

Oh, one other thing. I want to let even low-level characters build a taxi. I think it would be thematically appropriate, a low level character driving around in a taxi, just trying to make enough from tips to save up for the gear he needs to become a true adventurer at 80. Thus, I don't think this should be an epic mount. Frankly, I think the epic quality car should be some sexy sports car. So the cab will be a rare mount, only.

Whoops, I almost forgot to put the cut in today's entry . . . continued after the break.




So, to recap:

You whistle for your cab, and when it comes near
The license plate says "FRESH" and has a dice in the mirror.
If anything, I would say that this cab is rare.
On second thought, nah, forget it. Yo homes, you've been Bel-Air'd!

Continue reading 'The Next Engineering Mount'

Friday, February 8, 2008

Guildies Say the Darndest Things! (Potentially NSFW Text Behind the Cut)

It sounds funny, but I think one of the biggest things that draws new folks to Prophecy is our Ventrilo server and guild/offcolor chats. Or, I suppose to be more general, our twisted personalities. Rare is the day when there aren't at least a few dozen statements made that are immediately (if not explicitly) twisted to be sexual in nature, another dozen jokes of the toilet humor variety made, etcetera. We can all be very mature if we need to be, mind you, but we have a lot of fun just being immature (I think we have MAYBE 3 members under the age of 18, mind you, and those 3 are rarely around, so dont think we're exposing young kids to things they shouldn't be exposed to).

And with that in mind, I want to expose everybody to excerpts from this very culture, via our own guild forum's "Prophecy Quotes" thread. Names and . . . well, names, have been changed to protect the guilty. Be warned, some of what is behind the cut is not the sort of thing you want your boss to catch you reading, though (Hence why I'm using a cut from day 1 this time). Heck, some of these quotes aren't even appropriate for human consumption. I wont fault you if you don't read this, but I needed some cheering up, and the Prophecy Quotes thread never fails to get me laughing. You've been warned. . .



As you're reading these, I encourage you to do so with your dirtiest mindset. Remember, we pretty much live in the gutter, so much of this might only be funny if you're actively expecting innuendo. And toward the end, some of this gets REALLY bad, to the point where I'm actually refusing to post some of my favorites because they just go too far, or touch on touchy subjects like religion. Oh, and I copy full posts here, these aren't all posted by me, so any "I" appearing in them is not necessarily about me:

"Wait, what?... OH, SHIT!" -Our raiding motto. :3

*giggles* I have two mages to beat off o.O
-- Hunter, discussing T4 Helm looting competition

"you just follow the directions on the box. its pretty much bake and spank"
-Warrior, making brownies. i died laughing

"I dont even ask for it, I just shove it in your face"
~Shaman, about Mana oil on his mace

"This is ridicufuckulous."
~Paladin

"I blew all of them!"
~Hunter, referring to her cooldowns

"Whoo! I'm a Kentucky fried ROCKET!"
~Rogue Engineer, after becoming a chicken from a malfunction and hitting sprint.

"Once I have it in my mouth, I'm sure it'll be amazing."
~Shadow Priest

Warrior: You said you were gonna come on [Paladin]!
[Paladin]: I DID come on [Paladin]!

I taste Daddy!
- Shadow Priest or Moonkin (not sure which)

"That's like...masturbating as a quadraplegic."
~Paladin, questioning Warrior's sanity by farming as a prot warrior

"I'd be an Actual Teacher. I just like kids too much."
-Shaman, after coming back into vent after a hiatus.

"I just passed another nethergas cloud" ~ Warrior

"Prince Malchezzar doesn't have the balls to drop. Good to know." -Me, as Kirari
"He's wearing an awfully short skirt." -Rogue
"I think he's going to the disco after this." -Mage
"Disco Infernal?" -Kirari

"Keep talking" - Shadow Priest
"Cixah's fapping" - Mage
"No.. because if I was [Moonkin] would get an eye full" - Shadow Priest

"What am I going to do with all these cookies and milk now? It's going to go right to my thighs." -Mage
"Great. My pants are now broken." -Rogue
"Looks like you had some milk too." -ToL Druid

Shaman: Your kitty looks like my grandma's kitty
Mage: =)
Surania: . . .
Mage: Wait
Mage: STFU Surania

Rogue: "I'll just put my meat in the guild bank"

Feral Druid, while summoning in birdform:
"Oh cool, I get glowing balls."


So, for those brave enough to actually read all of these, what are some of YOUR favorite quotes from your guildmates?
Continue reading 'Guildies Say the Darndest Things! (Potentially NSFW Text Behind the Cut)'

 
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